RANDOM THOUGHTS ON LIFE...

The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen
and stupidity.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Money can't buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier
to live with...

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh*t before.

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check
3 friends. If they're OK, you're it.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer
in rats.

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that
nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as
a warning to others.

Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because
the average man can see better than he can think.

Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's
easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be 
paranoid, too.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make
you feel happy to be on your way.

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from 
where you left them to where you can't find them.

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan
will not be evenly distributed.